sobrietea~ go sober

Fortunately (or unfortunately?) there is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to recovery. What works for one person does not mean it will work for somebody else…even if you find two people who are eerily similar. Amongst a group of people who share similar experiences (for instance, folks in recovery from alcohol use), there are unified themes and a common understanding that binds the group together. But that’s usually where the commonalities stop. Human beings are so diverse, with different values, beliefs, and aspirations. We all experience the world through a unique lens, and learn in varied and complex ways. Our uniqueness demands a cleverly-crafted and individualized approach to recovery.

Even in programs like AA, you will hear the advice “use what works for you, and leave what doesn’t.” That’s exactly what I would recommend in a holistic, person-first approach to recovery.

Below are 5 tips to building a recovery program that works with every part of you.

And what does *work* mean? You’ll know your recovery program is “working” when you feel you are able to work towards understanding your experiences and move forward in a healthy and meaningful way. This looks different for everybody. Some examples:

Your recovery program is working when you can put substance down in the face of triggers. Your recovery program is working when maladaptive behaviors are replaced by healthier coping skills. Your recovery program is working when you no longer feel stuck by your trauma, and feel you can move forward in your life.

1. Set goals. This may seem obvious, but it’s important. “Recovery” is such a broad concept, that means something different to every individual person. No matter what brings you to this place of seeking recovery, identify specific goals to work towards.
   Start by setting small goals, then work towards bigger things. For instance, I started my recovery with “just don’t drink today” because the idea of not drinking again for the rest of my life sounded (and still does sometimes!) daunting and impossible. Once I could manage to “just not drink” for a couple days in a row (err, maybe more like six months in a row), my goal changed to “find healthier coping skills that are helpful for me to deal with stress.”
2. Stay open minded. There are so many methods, programs, and skills of recovery. You won’t know what works for you, unless you give a true, honest effort. If something doesn’t click initially, don’t give up! Try it a couple more times. If it’s still not working, then you know that’s just not your thing. Not everything will work for everyone, and that’s okay.
3. Be consistent. Once you find what works for you, make a consistent effort to incorporate it into your daily routine. The cliché is true: practice makes perfect. If you don’t practice what works, it probably won’t work when you need it.
   Think about it: our muscles atrophy when they aren’t used, which is why it can physically hurt when we run a mile after a period of being sedentary!
4. Document your journey. There is so much value in writing down our experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Journaling can help us release things we’ve bottled up during the day, and serve as a reflection tool to identify patterns.
5. Grow your recovery network. Find other people who are working towards similar recovery goals. You may find these individuals in recovery groups (including ___Anonymous meetings, group therapy, workshops, online communities, etc.) The goal of connecting with others isn’t to necessarily bond through shared traumas, but rather, to engage in recovery-oriented activities together. Additionally, if you are feeling “stuck” in your recovery, talking to somebody who understands some of what you’ve been through can help tremendously. There’s nothing like speaking with someone who can “talk the talk” because they’ve “walked the walk.”